Some days all I see is the raggy pile of my mistakes, shortcomings,
and failures. When I mean to bless my daughter, I end up arguing with her; when
I rise from a time of prayer full of “godliness,” I step into an argument with my
husband.
How can it be that my life is hid with Christ in God, I lament. How
can I pull that spiritual truth into my being and bring it out tangible?
I know my consternation with myself lies in my hazy of vision
of the riches I have in Christ, or more to the point—my hazy vision of Christ
Himself.
Although I know Him, I long to know Him more.I don’t want to accrue my little spiritual
badges, like a good girl scout.I want
to RECEIVE in a full-blown dose what I know in my mind and spirit He is and has
done; to receive such a revelation as some who have had a sudden, life-changing
glimpse of majesty in the here and now.
I am reminded of Watchman Nee’s struggle with anger. One day
in his study, he suddenly “saw” that his life was crucified with Christ. He was
so excited he ran down the street.
I wish it were simple, keeping this singular-eyed vision on
things unseen. I wish I could just read one enlightening book by someone who’s
been there and has the one handy answer how to go, and all I have to do is do
it, and voilà! Arrived Christian Woman.
But I can’t make Eureka happen.
That’s for the Holy Spirit
to decide. There are some things I can do, though. It came as a shock to me the
other day to realize that although I knew the verses about a certain attitude
and behavior, I actually wasn’t doing them. They were only in my head.
So I am purposing to
- Slow down consuming and start doing. This involves meditating on fewer verses at a time and asking the Lord to soak them into me.
- Memorize. I know. Every Baptist kid (I wasn’t one) this side of the Mason-Dixon Line has memorized Scriptures, but the older I have become, the less I have engaged in this. I’m actually taking Ann Voskampf’s challenge to memorize several books of Romans. Although this may seem contrary to my first point of meditation, it really is a separate discipline which is becoming more and more satisfying.
- Relax in the knowledge that the Holy Spirit’s desire is to lead me into all truth. That God’s desire is that I should know Him. And that He will accomplish that which concerns me.
- Finally, to remember
Beloved, we are God's
children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when
he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And
everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure. (1 John
3:1-3)
And thankfully that unveiling will be a bit more glorious
than this, but you get the point! (My grandson in his father’s ghillie suit
from his SWAT days.)
Blessing of enjoyment in what God has done and is doing in
you this today. Thanks for stopping by.
Marcia
Always learning and growing. As long as we keep doing that, we are moving forward and refusing to get stuck in one idea and one level in our relationship with God.
ReplyDeleteAlso keeps us young huh?
Constantly being transformed, thank God!
ReplyDeleteWow, Marcia - memorizing ROMANS? Whew, that's a challenge and a HALF :) I'm actually leading Beth Moore's study of James with my neighborhood gals, and she challenges the participants to memorize the entire book. My goal is to memorize at least Ch 1. I'm up to v13, so far - so good!
ReplyDeleteMy secret hope is that memorizing scripture will stave off Alzheimers. Yes, that's kind of selfish. But actually, it's a win-win: if I lose my mind and start babbling, I'll babble the Word and keep right on ministering ;)