Some days all I see is the raggy pile of my mistakes, shortcomings, and failures. When I mean to bless my daughter, I end up arguing with her; when I rise from a time of prayer full of “godliness,” I step into an argument with my husband.
How can it be that my life is hid with Christ in God, I lament. How can I pull that spiritual truth into my being and bring it out tangible?
I know my consternation with myself lies in my hazy of vision of the riches I have in Christ, or more to the point—my hazy vision of Christ Himself.
Although I know Him, I long to know Him more.I don’t want to accrue my little spiritual badges, like a good girl scout.I want to RECEIVE in a full-blown dose what I know in my mind and spirit He is and has done; to receive such a revelation as some who have had a sudden, life-changing glimpse of majesty in the here and now.
I am reminded of Watchman Nee’s struggle with anger. One day in his study, he suddenly “saw” that his life was crucified with Christ. He was so excited he ran down the street.
I wish it were simple, keeping this singular-eyed vision on things unseen. I wish I could just read one enlightening book by someone who’s been there and has the one handy answer how to go, and all I have to do is do it, and voilà! Arrived Christian Woman.
But I can’t make Eureka happen.
That’s for the Holy Spirit to decide. There are some things I can do, though. It came as a shock to me the other day to realize that although I knew the verses about a certain attitude and behavior, I actually wasn’t doing them. They were only in my head.
So I am purposing to
- Slow down consuming and start doing. This involves meditating on fewer verses at a time and asking the Lord to soak them into me.
- Memorize. I know. Every Baptist kid (I wasn’t one) this side of the Mason-Dixon Line has memorized Scriptures, but the older I have become, the less I have engaged in this. I’m actually taking Ann Voskampf’s challenge to memorize several books of Romans. Although this may seem contrary to my first point of meditation, it really is a separate discipline which is becoming more and more satisfying.
- Relax in the knowledge that the Holy Spirit’s desire is to lead me into all truth. That God’s desire is that I should know Him. And that He will accomplish that which concerns me.
- Finally, to remember
Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure. (1 John 3:1-3)
And thankfully that unveiling will be a bit more glorious than this, but you get the point! (My grandson in his father’s ghillie suit from his SWAT days.)
Blessing of enjoyment in what God has done and is doing in you this today. Thanks for stopping by.